There are a lot of thoughts and questions inside my head that I want to burst out whenever I talk to you. I did not want to breach the security of our relationship just to get answers but now, I realized that I am too far along to even care about security.
I like you. I really do. I look forward to every text, every story, every thought, and every song that we tell each other. And while I did say that we should still be friends...are we really just friends? Why do I feel like I'm letting you in to the shadowy corners of me? Why do I give you a lot of time that I normally will not give to just any friend? Are you just being friendly? Is this your type of friendship?
Tell me because I need more motivation to keep myself in check. Tell me because I'm scared.
I'm scared because you are real. You are real and you are beautiful and I never imagined of having this sense of comfort and longing for another person. You are real and you are telling me I am praise-worthy and I just want to tell you that damn, the girls you loved before are so lucky. You are real and I'm trying so hard, so very hard, to build more walls around my heart but you are just there, knocking everything down.
You are real and I do not know what to do anymore because fuck my illnesses, I think it's too late.
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