It's amazing how one moment can have several points of view.
However, at that particular moment, they were just mine and yours.
It was at the party of SOM, the music blared loudly, the drinks free flowed, and everybody just kept talking and dancing. The lights twinkled against the dark room as eveything turned surreal. The faces around me were covered up by either the mask of mascara and lipstick or the veil of unreasonable laughter and smiles. I, along with my other two friends, walked around and looked for familiar individuals. But then again, everybody around us was hid under their impenetrable masks. And so, we opted to just go to the photobooth, took pictures, got ice cream, and stayed in front of the glass stage/runway. At last, after a glimpse of eternity, three hosts started talking and welcoming everyone. That night, the candidates of Mr. and Ms. SOM went through the question and answer portion. A part of the crowd cheered when their bet was called. I screamed when Ate Isay and Kuya Al went out, and shouted along with my friends until they left the stage. I sighed. Suddenly, my phone rang. Oops, my parents were on their way. I inched closer to the door, but more people were coming in. So, I waited till only few would pass.
And then, as my eyes surveyed the crowd, I saw you. You stood out. Among the masquerades, you were the only one who wore none. You were raw, with some kind of unique charm you alone exude.
Quite surprisingly, you looked at me too. You caught me staring, but I did not avert my eyes. I wanted to get lost in yours. Yet, you looked away, and began talking to your friends.
That's when I knew. That's when I realized that you were just looking in my direction, looking at the photobooth right behind me. I let out a frustrated chuckle. I shook my head, said goodbye to my two very loyal friends, and went out.
You see, you'll never know how special that moment was for me. For you, it was just a prolonged glance at the people making poses in front of the camera. But for me, it was an illusion- an absurd fantasy that finally, after three months, you noticed me too.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Letter no. 3
Dear ______________,
No matter how life tries to make you sad, remember that there are many reasons to be happy, to be joyous about. Though your heart is currently breaking right now, someday you'll find someone who will make you whole again. You'll find someone who will fix you. Wait. Let me rephrase that. Someone will come, unexpectedly, to fill that hole in your heart. Someone will push your insecurities away with just one little compliment. Someone will embrace you, with fears and all. Someone will love you, for who you are, no matter how broken you are.
Don't fret. I know you are feeling lonely and absurdly sad these days. When you feel like crying, remember that you have friends who are willing to lend you their shoulders. When you feel like lashing out, remember that there are people who are willing to scream with you. When you feel like giving up, remember that your loved ones never give up on you. And so dear, you must fight. You must continue to laugh and cheer. You must always see the brighter side of things. You must always see the rainbow in every storm.
Continue being patient. You don't have to be in a relationship to be happy, dear. :) Do not force yourself to like someone, 'cause in the end, you'll hurt yourself more. However, stop pretending. Stop living in your illusions. Start dreaming and waking up each day with the face of reality smiling upon you. After all, the most bitter moments of our lives make our journey sweeter and much more rewarding. Accept, cry, and smile.
Light up the world more with your chuckles and smiles. Believe me, if you just look carefully, you'll see gazillion reasons why you should get better than this, why you should move on. I know it hurts, but you have to step forward, right? :)
Yours forever,
_____________
No matter how life tries to make you sad, remember that there are many reasons to be happy, to be joyous about. Though your heart is currently breaking right now, someday you'll find someone who will make you whole again. You'll find someone who will fix you. Wait. Let me rephrase that. Someone will come, unexpectedly, to fill that hole in your heart. Someone will push your insecurities away with just one little compliment. Someone will embrace you, with fears and all. Someone will love you, for who you are, no matter how broken you are.
Don't fret. I know you are feeling lonely and absurdly sad these days. When you feel like crying, remember that you have friends who are willing to lend you their shoulders. When you feel like lashing out, remember that there are people who are willing to scream with you. When you feel like giving up, remember that your loved ones never give up on you. And so dear, you must fight. You must continue to laugh and cheer. You must always see the brighter side of things. You must always see the rainbow in every storm.
Continue being patient. You don't have to be in a relationship to be happy, dear. :) Do not force yourself to like someone, 'cause in the end, you'll hurt yourself more. However, stop pretending. Stop living in your illusions. Start dreaming and waking up each day with the face of reality smiling upon you. After all, the most bitter moments of our lives make our journey sweeter and much more rewarding. Accept, cry, and smile.
Light up the world more with your chuckles and smiles. Believe me, if you just look carefully, you'll see gazillion reasons why you should get better than this, why you should move on. I know it hurts, but you have to step forward, right? :)
Yours forever,
_____________
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
The orange skies of July 22, 2011.
You were there.
Staring at the blurry flush of the cars, you bang your head rhythmically with music flowing out of your ipod. You look to your left side, scratch your head and unzip the outside pocket of your black Jansport backpack. You get your phone, zip it again and text. Then, you gaze at the distance, this time, at the trees, and hang your head a little to the side, expressing your tire. Your right thumb circles the surface of your phone. Suddenly, you jerk and clumsily reach for your player inside your left pocket. You operate your little entertainment and after a few seconds, the tension from your muscles are release. You put the ipod again inside your pocket and sigh a relief. You notice the orange atmosphere and your eyes wonder to your N5330. Still, no text. The cool rush of the wind relaxes you, and you close your eyes to feel its gentle carresses. Sitting for almost an hour bores you, but when nature makes sure you are comfortable, it becomes alright. Someone calls your name. You blink and your brown orbs search for the caller. Oh, it is Johnny, your blockmate. You smile and wave at him. He grins and walks straight to the silver car on the parking lot right beside your bench. You see him approach his chaffeur and get in the Mercedes. You look away. You grimace a bit, and decide to check the time. Your watch says it is 6:15. Ten minutes and it is an hour since your dismissal. You shake your head and look at your cellphone again. A small light blinks. You smile. There is a text from your elder sister saying that she is near. Your smile widens and you text her back, replying that you are in the same place as always. You put your phone back inside the outside pocket, sigh again, stretch your arms. You sway with your music, entering a world unknown to many. You fiddle with your keychains and smirk. Ateneo de Manila University. Your dream umiversity. Now you are here, a student of Management Engineering. A red CRV honks and you sling your backpack on your right shoulder. The window rolls down, revealing the very pretty face of your sister. I'm sorry, bunso, she says. You just nod and smile at her. It's alright, you respond. You get in the passenger seat, the windows roll up and the car drives away.
All the while, in your solitary loneliness, there was a girl, hoping you can see her sitting on her bench beside yours.
Fin.
Staring at the blurry flush of the cars, you bang your head rhythmically with music flowing out of your ipod. You look to your left side, scratch your head and unzip the outside pocket of your black Jansport backpack. You get your phone, zip it again and text. Then, you gaze at the distance, this time, at the trees, and hang your head a little to the side, expressing your tire. Your right thumb circles the surface of your phone. Suddenly, you jerk and clumsily reach for your player inside your left pocket. You operate your little entertainment and after a few seconds, the tension from your muscles are release. You put the ipod again inside your pocket and sigh a relief. You notice the orange atmosphere and your eyes wonder to your N5330. Still, no text. The cool rush of the wind relaxes you, and you close your eyes to feel its gentle carresses. Sitting for almost an hour bores you, but when nature makes sure you are comfortable, it becomes alright. Someone calls your name. You blink and your brown orbs search for the caller. Oh, it is Johnny, your blockmate. You smile and wave at him. He grins and walks straight to the silver car on the parking lot right beside your bench. You see him approach his chaffeur and get in the Mercedes. You look away. You grimace a bit, and decide to check the time. Your watch says it is 6:15. Ten minutes and it is an hour since your dismissal. You shake your head and look at your cellphone again. A small light blinks. You smile. There is a text from your elder sister saying that she is near. Your smile widens and you text her back, replying that you are in the same place as always. You put your phone back inside the outside pocket, sigh again, stretch your arms. You sway with your music, entering a world unknown to many. You fiddle with your keychains and smirk. Ateneo de Manila University. Your dream umiversity. Now you are here, a student of Management Engineering. A red CRV honks and you sling your backpack on your right shoulder. The window rolls down, revealing the very pretty face of your sister. I'm sorry, bunso, she says. You just nod and smile at her. It's alright, you respond. You get in the passenger seat, the windows roll up and the car drives away.
All the while, in your solitary loneliness, there was a girl, hoping you can see her sitting on her bench beside yours.
Fin.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Hey
Hello. I miss you. I miss the way you send chills and shivers through
my spine. I find myself looking for that tiny pink spots on my cheeks
whenever you pass by. How my heart starts to beat so fast that I can't
breathe. How my mind starts to panic when you come towards me, and
then goes blank from the moment you spoke your first words. How I can
content myself into thinking about one person throughout the day. How
I smile foolishly whenever I catch you staring at me. Really, you got
me reeling. You get me into a roller coaster ride whenever we have a
conversation.
That was then. Now's a bit different.
Today, when you walked by after Biology class, my eyes started to
follow you with disdain. I found myself biting my lips to keep me from
shouting profanities. I had to clutch on my locker's door to restrain
myself from slapping you. I had to convince myself to turn to the
other direction to keep me from asking you my stupid questions. I had
to grab my chest to keep me from sobbing in the hallway. I had to
smile to everyone who asks me if I am okay. I had to pretend. I hated
it.
Yeah, I sound like a bitter b*tch. Maybe I am. I am. Why?
I'm still in love with you. Gaddammit, I still am.
At night, I still imagine the warmth of your arms around me. I still
smell your husky scent on my sheets. I still recall the way your eyes
glimmer whenever I tell you that I love you. I still remember the
times we had those silly picnic dates you insisted upon. Remember the
third time we went to central park? We had to care this cute little
boy for a day because his parents have gone away somewhere. We acted
like we were a real family. The night that followed, I began to think
about our future. You, me, a nice house and naughty little twins. It
was so perfect, so right. But someone had to ruin it. Someone ruined us.
How you ever managed to have a one-night stand with Michelle McAdams
while I was planning our beach trip is still a mystery to me. Am I not
enough? You told me you would wait, turns out your little buddy wanted
a hug from someone else. What happened to our promise? Whatever
happened to our perfect future? You disgust me so much. I thought you
were different. Now please don't make up excuses. Just take a bow.
I hate you because of so many things. For making me hope. For making
me happy with just one smile. For making me silly and bubbly. For
making me love you. I hate you because you made me feel that I wasn't good enough for you.
Hope you and her won't have the same ending we had.
- T.
my spine. I find myself looking for that tiny pink spots on my cheeks
whenever you pass by. How my heart starts to beat so fast that I can't
breathe. How my mind starts to panic when you come towards me, and
then goes blank from the moment you spoke your first words. How I can
content myself into thinking about one person throughout the day. How
I smile foolishly whenever I catch you staring at me. Really, you got
me reeling. You get me into a roller coaster ride whenever we have a
conversation.
That was then. Now's a bit different.
Today, when you walked by after Biology class, my eyes started to
follow you with disdain. I found myself biting my lips to keep me from
shouting profanities. I had to clutch on my locker's door to restrain
myself from slapping you. I had to convince myself to turn to the
other direction to keep me from asking you my stupid questions. I had
to grab my chest to keep me from sobbing in the hallway. I had to
smile to everyone who asks me if I am okay. I had to pretend. I hated
it.
Yeah, I sound like a bitter b*tch. Maybe I am. I am. Why?
I'm still in love with you. Gaddammit, I still am.
At night, I still imagine the warmth of your arms around me. I still
smell your husky scent on my sheets. I still recall the way your eyes
glimmer whenever I tell you that I love you. I still remember the
times we had those silly picnic dates you insisted upon. Remember the
third time we went to central park? We had to care this cute little
boy for a day because his parents have gone away somewhere. We acted
like we were a real family. The night that followed, I began to think
about our future. You, me, a nice house and naughty little twins. It
was so perfect, so right. But someone had to ruin it. Someone ruined us.
How you ever managed to have a one-night stand with Michelle McAdams
while I was planning our beach trip is still a mystery to me. Am I not
enough? You told me you would wait, turns out your little buddy wanted
a hug from someone else. What happened to our promise? Whatever
happened to our perfect future? You disgust me so much. I thought you
were different. Now please don't make up excuses. Just take a bow.
I hate you because of so many things. For making me hope. For making
me happy with just one smile. For making me silly and bubbly. For
making me love you. I hate you because you made me feel that I wasn't good enough for you.
Hope you and her won't have the same ending we had.
- T.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Sands of Illusion
Ate asked for help. :D I don't know if this is considered as sonnet, but I made sure it has fourteen lines and follows the iambic pentameter. :D
Sonnet I, Sands of Illusion
(A sonnet in response to Dr. Jose Rizal's To Josephine)
The sea rolls its waves towards my new home
The breeze cools my unsettling emotion
I have cast my heart and soul to stay, not roam
Yet my hands clutch on moments with passion
On these shores my eyes seek for your figure
My overwhelming flight tires my strange mind
I imagine things, I feel your gesture
And the sunlight fires my heart to be blind
Is this real? Or the fantasy of a seer?
Will the husky scent of your neck linger?
Jose, Jose, Love, are you really here?
Did you fly and land to make me stronger?
Ah, but the moon sings the reality
I am but a fool of despondency
Heehee. :3
Sonnet I, Sands of Illusion
(A sonnet in response to Dr. Jose Rizal's To Josephine)
The sea rolls its waves towards my new home
The breeze cools my unsettling emotion
I have cast my heart and soul to stay, not roam
Yet my hands clutch on moments with passion
On these shores my eyes seek for your figure
My overwhelming flight tires my strange mind
I imagine things, I feel your gesture
And the sunlight fires my heart to be blind
Is this real? Or the fantasy of a seer?
Will the husky scent of your neck linger?
Jose, Jose, Love, are you really here?
Did you fly and land to make me stronger?
Ah, but the moon sings the reality
I am but a fool of despondency
Heehee. :3
Sulyap
Had my prepcourse. :) Was inspired to make a poem. :D
Matagal ng itinatago-tago
Aking paningi'y di na nagbago
Ang lahat ay nawawala
Kapag ika'y nakikita
Galaw mo'y sinusundan
Habang ika't pinagmamasdan
Noong nakita ka
Di inaakala
Damdamin ay umaapaw
Sa mga bituin
Aking panalangin
Na sana'y mapansin mo rin
Bawat salita ay parang musika
Ngunit ako'y isang saling pusa
Sa libro mong napakakulay
Anong diperensya
Kung ako'y mawawala
Sa iyong buhay?
Hanggang kailan kaya
Matitiis ng pusong
Isang sulyap mo'y sumasaya?
I'll post the sonnet I made for my sister's PI100 requirements next. ;)
Matagal ng itinatago-tago
Aking paningi'y di na nagbago
Ang lahat ay nawawala
Kapag ika'y nakikita
Galaw mo'y sinusundan
Habang ika't pinagmamasdan
Noong nakita ka
Di inaakala
Damdamin ay umaapaw
Sa mga bituin
Aking panalangin
Na sana'y mapansin mo rin
Bawat salita ay parang musika
Ngunit ako'y isang saling pusa
Sa libro mong napakakulay
Anong diperensya
Kung ako'y mawawala
Sa iyong buhay?
Hanggang kailan kaya
Matitiis ng pusong
Isang sulyap mo'y sumasaya?
I'll post the sonnet I made for my sister's PI100 requirements next. ;)
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Videnda
I miss writing. Hell knows how long since I was able to write. I curse and blame laziness and boredom for my lack of activity. My imaginations are running up high and again, alas, I have to release some to save myself from insanity. These days, I find myself dazing into the unknown while imagining that Tom freaking Riddle Jr. (more known as 'Voldemort') is in love with a pretentious, secretive, self-made character named Maria Angela Castillo (the name of the said girl morphed many times, from Cerise to Marcella to Adelaide to Eva etc.). Hence, I find it proper to express these hopelessly romantic, school-girl feelings into an entry. Maybe I could write a poem or inspire myself to compose a song (though I really doubt the latter since I can only play the guitar in my dreams and waltz with the piano in the land of unicorns). Either way, you, my dearest bored reader, will be my victim. Why? Seeing as you continue to read this post, I suppose you are quite interested in what I will be saying. Or not.
Moving on, things have change since I last butted my stirrings out here. I made a list of the necessary changes that occurred these past few months. Whenever you are ready. Here we go.
Chel's Supercalifragilisticexpialydocious (Is my spelling correct?), Non-diabolically yet Intensely Cuckoo-Inspired Alterations in her Average Life: *insert applause and evil laugh here*
a.) Egg-like love life
YEEEEEEEES! A loud hooray here! :D My "love" problems were resolved. I am, as of now, a single sixteen year-old girl who is free from all the cliche feelings that soppy books seem to describe a lot. No more mixed signals, misunderstandings, emo corners in my room, listen-to-the-signature-song-you-chose-for-him moments, and all those cheesy stuff. I am more happy than I have ever been in my life. It is really dignifying to realize that you are no longer chained by your past 'paramour', and no longer bothered by the fact that your guy best friend might mean something more to you. The freedom of your mind to think more practical things is a sure treat! :) No, I didn't have as much regrets as I thought I would have. The greatest lesson I've learned from all the experiences: LEARN TO WAIT.
b.) Dramiotomy
Don't even bother Webster. I invented that word(Oh really now, I am not an inventor of words...well, sort of). That word was born from my undying devotion to two pairings of the Harry Potter fandom: Draco/Hermione and Tom/Hermione (Yes, I actually appreciate the young dark lord. He's hot.). I spend my whole summer vacation reading the works of people like me who loves the said pairings. It may sound like I wasted time, but really, I learned a lot. I got to read different writing styles and point of views. A large part of my weird enjoyment goes to my amusement to some people who have managed to raise my eyebrows, shudder or squeal like a guinea pig by their works of fantasies. I will share some of the stories that I find worth-reading and worth...well, shudders. Nonetheless, I applaud these budding novelists for giving me the entertainment of the lifetime.
Dramiotomy comes from the names, 'DRAco, herMIOne, and TOM.' The 'Y' is just an added flair.
c.) Lipad na, Atenista!
In english, 'Fly high, Atenean!'. I finished high school with fluttering hues, and boy, I was glad to get out of there. (Just kidding. ;) I love my high school folks! :D) Still, I can't get my head to wrap around the simple idea that I am in college this coming June! Moreover, I will go to one of my dream schools! The mere thought of it excites my tendons and nerves. Double yehey! :) I must admit that I had a hard time choosing schools. I was blessed to pass all my entrance exams and thus, the decision was harder. I came to a point where I would ask God signs, but I would just see things that add to my confusion. I realized that I shouldn't have ask God to make the decision for me, rather, I should ask Him to bless me so that I am know which path I should take. I confess that I really favor the college along Katipunan from the start, but I need some confirmation. So, I took Sorting Hat tests. (Yes, I am a very geeky Harry Potter fan.) Guess what? Majority of those tests conclude that I am a true-blooded Ravenclaw! Imagine my happiness and surprise! :D
d.) Uh. When making a list, I only include three topics. So, disregard this. ;)
I think that's it. Usually, I end my entries with dramatic messages and one-liners, but since I earlier stated that I am in a blissful mood, I prefer the old antics for this one. Ciao, bored reader. Thanks for wasting your time schmooching over my thoughts! ;)
-- Chel
Moving on, things have change since I last butted my stirrings out here. I made a list of the necessary changes that occurred these past few months. Whenever you are ready. Here we go.
Chel's Supercalifragilisticexpialydocious (Is my spelling correct?), Non-diabolically yet Intensely Cuckoo-Inspired Alterations in her Average Life: *insert applause and evil laugh here*
a.) Egg-like love life
YEEEEEEEES! A loud hooray here! :D My "love" problems were resolved. I am, as of now, a single sixteen year-old girl who is free from all the cliche feelings that soppy books seem to describe a lot. No more mixed signals, misunderstandings, emo corners in my room, listen-to-the-signature-song-you-chose-for-him moments, and all those cheesy stuff. I am more happy than I have ever been in my life. It is really dignifying to realize that you are no longer chained by your past 'paramour', and no longer bothered by the fact that your guy best friend might mean something more to you. The freedom of your mind to think more practical things is a sure treat! :) No, I didn't have as much regrets as I thought I would have. The greatest lesson I've learned from all the experiences: LEARN TO WAIT.
b.) Dramiotomy
Don't even bother Webster. I invented that word(Oh really now, I am not an inventor of words...well, sort of). That word was born from my undying devotion to two pairings of the Harry Potter fandom: Draco/Hermione and Tom/Hermione (Yes, I actually appreciate the young dark lord. He's hot.). I spend my whole summer vacation reading the works of people like me who loves the said pairings. It may sound like I wasted time, but really, I learned a lot. I got to read different writing styles and point of views. A large part of my weird enjoyment goes to my amusement to some people who have managed to raise my eyebrows, shudder or squeal like a guinea pig by their works of fantasies. I will share some of the stories that I find worth-reading and worth...well, shudders. Nonetheless, I applaud these budding novelists for giving me the entertainment of the lifetime.
Dramiotomy comes from the names, 'DRAco, herMIOne, and TOM.' The 'Y' is just an added flair.
c.) Lipad na, Atenista!
In english, 'Fly high, Atenean!'. I finished high school with fluttering hues, and boy, I was glad to get out of there. (Just kidding. ;) I love my high school folks! :D) Still, I can't get my head to wrap around the simple idea that I am in college this coming June! Moreover, I will go to one of my dream schools! The mere thought of it excites my tendons and nerves. Double yehey! :) I must admit that I had a hard time choosing schools. I was blessed to pass all my entrance exams and thus, the decision was harder. I came to a point where I would ask God signs, but I would just see things that add to my confusion. I realized that I shouldn't have ask God to make the decision for me, rather, I should ask Him to bless me so that I am know which path I should take. I confess that I really favor the college along Katipunan from the start, but I need some confirmation. So, I took Sorting Hat tests. (Yes, I am a very geeky Harry Potter fan.) Guess what? Majority of those tests conclude that I am a true-blooded Ravenclaw! Imagine my happiness and surprise! :D
d.) Uh. When making a list, I only include three topics. So, disregard this. ;)
I think that's it. Usually, I end my entries with dramatic messages and one-liners, but since I earlier stated that I am in a blissful mood, I prefer the old antics for this one. Ciao, bored reader. Thanks for wasting your time schmooching over my thoughts! ;)
-- Chel
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