My face is as thick as your stack of medical books right now. Hehe.
I took a break from the presentation I am doing and recorded this. I've always wanted someone to serenade me with this song simply because the lyrics are just honest and real. I won't mind if he's sintunado (although I might laugh at his face HAHA). The gesture of harana is touching and endearing in its own way.
So while no one is singing for me, I thought I might sing for you guys. Accapella only. Consider it as your halloween gift (or curse hohoho). ;)
Here's the link: http://soundcloud.com/chelactuallysings/cover-possibilities-by-freddie
P.S. I'm not that good. HOHO
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Mind over heart.
It's so easy to be carried away by emotions, but it's very hard to think rationally when all you want to do is fall and smile in sweet surrender. Thankfully, after pondering for days, I know now what is the best thing to do.
Move forward.
I cannot be stuck in the moment, or else I would forever be in a phase where my point of reason is an event that I can view through a single facet. I know that I must make a decision though all the choices presented to me will bring discomfort. Telling him would bring me a sense of relief but would bring awkwardness, not telling him and keeping all these feelings would cause me great distress and would make me do weird things, and accepting what happened and moving on would surely bring some thoughts of regrets but will inevitably be the best choice for me.
I'm tired of making things complicated, of hiding and running away, of denying him, and doing things to make him feel special. I want someone who has the guts to take risks and show me what he really feels. I want to be with someone who is mature enough to be with me for a very long time. I just want someone to love me and care for me.
To you, if you really like me then do something. I'm not forcing you to be in a relationship with me right now but give me some real and concrete sign. I'm willing to stop and wait for you. However, if you feel less, let me continue to walk away.
Move forward.
I cannot be stuck in the moment, or else I would forever be in a phase where my point of reason is an event that I can view through a single facet. I know that I must make a decision though all the choices presented to me will bring discomfort. Telling him would bring me a sense of relief but would bring awkwardness, not telling him and keeping all these feelings would cause me great distress and would make me do weird things, and accepting what happened and moving on would surely bring some thoughts of regrets but will inevitably be the best choice for me.
I'm tired of making things complicated, of hiding and running away, of denying him, and doing things to make him feel special. I want someone who has the guts to take risks and show me what he really feels. I want to be with someone who is mature enough to be with me for a very long time. I just want someone to love me and care for me.
To you, if you really like me then do something. I'm not forcing you to be in a relationship with me right now but give me some real and concrete sign. I'm willing to stop and wait for you. However, if you feel less, let me continue to walk away.
Friday, October 19, 2012
Fruits of my so-called "hard-work".
YAY! It's my first time to be in that list. :') Seeing that beautiful, beautiful grade is sooo awesome! :) But I know that I could've gotten higher if I just work my butt off and concentrated more. Whatever. Too late for that, and honestly, I have no regrets. I had a rocking first sem. I'm satisfied. I'm happy.
Finally, some evidence that Ateneo doesn't think I'm dumb! <3 br="br">
Finally, some evidence that Ateneo doesn't think I'm dumb! <3 br="br">
Thursday, October 18, 2012
A Letter to the 25-year old Me.
Dear Chel,
Hi! :) If you are reading this, that means you remembered that you wrote this seven years ago. For me who is here in the year 2012, this is a letter which is still in-construction as I really have no idea what to write here. I just have this urge to write a time capsule (albeit a virtual one). I will just write what I'm currently thinking of, and I dearly hope that somehow, all that I will say to you will make sense.
First, how did college go? Did you aim higher for yourself or for others? Did you continue your minor in creative writing? Were you able to graduate with latin honors? Were you able to sustain your friendship with your three closest friends? Why did you do those things? Tell me, I want to hear your stories. I want to know whether you finally gathered the courage to tell NC that you liked him, or you met an extraordinary person who changed your life. I am ecstatic to hear your tales about your pranks and whatnot. Were you able to at least achieve something from our plans? Tell me. My ears are ready.
Second, I want you to know that even if you failed at a lot of things, you still have your loved ones, especially your family. You are in that state for a reason. You are there because something magical is about to happen (or maybe it already happened? :) ). If you are still asking what is your purpose in life, go to Him. He knows what is best for us. Time and time again, He has proven to be the one source of our solace and comfort. His will be done, right? So, go to Him, and ask Him if we are on the right path.
Third, congratulations! You deserve a big, big hug from your 18-year old self. :) You are still alive and kicking. You are able to survive life! :) >:D< But, it's time to take our maturity a notch higher. It's not right to keep grudges, okay? So, LET GO. Allow yourself to be happy. Hihi.
Fourth, how are your relationships? How are Mama and Papa? Are you still living with them? If yes, are you giving them your monthly contribution for the house? If no, why did you move out? Is Papa still working? Are you able to buy things for them from your own money? How is Ate? Is she still in the medical school? What specialization is she planning to take? Are you still as close as now? Did she truly end up with D? How are our relatives? Are both families still closely-knit as ever? I do hope so.
Lastly, how's your heart? Are you in a relationship right now? If yes, are you happy? If no, why not? Remember our mantra about this? You don't deserve anything less. :) I hope that you were able to experience loving after the disastrous attempts we had back when we were still in high school. Don't be so cynical and close-minded. Take everything as it is. Open your heart again to the possibilities. Stop being in denial.
It's already 2:45 am. I have to stop writing this. I hope you notice that this letter is not really about the past seven years. This is about evaluating whether our life made significant changes to others or if the passiveness of some of the things that surrounded us affected the way we lived. This is about reflecting on what we have become. Did we change for the better or for the worse?
I'm ending this abruptly, as all thoughts end in our heads-- forever switching.
Take care, okay?
Please still be sane,
-- Chel (18).
Hi! :) If you are reading this, that means you remembered that you wrote this seven years ago. For me who is here in the year 2012, this is a letter which is still in-construction as I really have no idea what to write here. I just have this urge to write a time capsule (albeit a virtual one). I will just write what I'm currently thinking of, and I dearly hope that somehow, all that I will say to you will make sense.
First, how did college go? Did you aim higher for yourself or for others? Did you continue your minor in creative writing? Were you able to graduate with latin honors? Were you able to sustain your friendship with your three closest friends? Why did you do those things? Tell me, I want to hear your stories. I want to know whether you finally gathered the courage to tell NC that you liked him, or you met an extraordinary person who changed your life. I am ecstatic to hear your tales about your pranks and whatnot. Were you able to at least achieve something from our plans? Tell me. My ears are ready.
Second, I want you to know that even if you failed at a lot of things, you still have your loved ones, especially your family. You are in that state for a reason. You are there because something magical is about to happen (or maybe it already happened? :) ). If you are still asking what is your purpose in life, go to Him. He knows what is best for us. Time and time again, He has proven to be the one source of our solace and comfort. His will be done, right? So, go to Him, and ask Him if we are on the right path.
Third, congratulations! You deserve a big, big hug from your 18-year old self. :) You are still alive and kicking. You are able to survive life! :) >:D< But, it's time to take our maturity a notch higher. It's not right to keep grudges, okay? So, LET GO. Allow yourself to be happy. Hihi.
Fourth, how are your relationships? How are Mama and Papa? Are you still living with them? If yes, are you giving them your monthly contribution for the house? If no, why did you move out? Is Papa still working? Are you able to buy things for them from your own money? How is Ate? Is she still in the medical school? What specialization is she planning to take? Are you still as close as now? Did she truly end up with D? How are our relatives? Are both families still closely-knit as ever? I do hope so.
Lastly, how's your heart? Are you in a relationship right now? If yes, are you happy? If no, why not? Remember our mantra about this? You don't deserve anything less. :) I hope that you were able to experience loving after the disastrous attempts we had back when we were still in high school. Don't be so cynical and close-minded. Take everything as it is. Open your heart again to the possibilities. Stop being in denial.
It's already 2:45 am. I have to stop writing this. I hope you notice that this letter is not really about the past seven years. This is about evaluating whether our life made significant changes to others or if the passiveness of some of the things that surrounded us affected the way we lived. This is about reflecting on what we have become. Did we change for the better or for the worse?
I'm ending this abruptly, as all thoughts end in our heads-- forever switching.
Take care, okay?
Please still be sane,
-- Chel (18).
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Monday, October 8, 2012
Questions.
I knew from the very start that you will not, in any way, care about me more than I care about you.
But is it too thick-skinned and desperate of me to hope against the blatant fact that you will never see me in that light? Because I am clinging to those small, powerful moments where you actually took the initiative to talk to me, or to look at my way. Or did you? Were they simply illusions my mind created to cushion the impending heartbreak I am going to experience? Did I raise the levels at such high rates only for me to fall down and get broken?
Will you attempt to catch me? (Quite frankly, I don't think so.)
But is it too thick-skinned and desperate of me to hope against the blatant fact that you will never see me in that light? Because I am clinging to those small, powerful moments where you actually took the initiative to talk to me, or to look at my way. Or did you? Were they simply illusions my mind created to cushion the impending heartbreak I am going to experience? Did I raise the levels at such high rates only for me to fall down and get broken?
Will you attempt to catch me? (Quite frankly, I don't think so.)
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