It’s getting harder to be okay when internally you feel like a mess and there are people who are insensitive enough to step on your feelings. People who don’t know even half of the shit you are going through.
And you’re just here, crying out of frustration, trying not to be mad and wanting to be very much okay.
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Friday, September 27, 2013
Word Vomit: Sand
I'd give anything to feel something other than this. I'm very afraid that I might continually forget and let cynicism wash over me. The footprints left are all I have--- they are my reminder that twice I risked to let someone in and if anything, the past shouldn't hinder me to let someone stay.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Word Vomit: Railway
I hope this won't make you uncomfortable. To the tell you truth, I am reluctant to write this but I can't let this chance slip away.
You told me our timing was off. We ignored the signs and took the wrong routes that when we met again, we were still on the same train only with the unnecessary baggage. Instead of walking away, I carried your bags as you carried mine. We shared what was inside of every pocket and laughed and cried with each secret uncovered. We started drinking coffee and spending the hours talking and talking and talking...and talking and we became a habit. We became a fixture I look forward to every time I wake up.
However, every ride has its end. You and I had places to go. We each have responsibilities. When the train stopped at my station, you took my baggage away and told me to go and forget you. You made me promise to erase you because you were once one of those boys that left the unwanted souvenirs upon my door. You told me that the universe wasn't ready. You told me that our timing was off.
But I can't forget you. When everyday does not preoccupy my time, I think of you and the things I wish I expressed. What if, by continuing to pretend that nothing happened, we are on the wrong road again? What if the timing was, in fact, right? What if my final destination is really you? I don't want to live in the what-ifs anymore. Please, if you are still even just a fraction of the man I know, come to your train station. I'm here. Meet me for the third time.
You told me our timing was off. We ignored the signs and took the wrong routes that when we met again, we were still on the same train only with the unnecessary baggage. Instead of walking away, I carried your bags as you carried mine. We shared what was inside of every pocket and laughed and cried with each secret uncovered. We started drinking coffee and spending the hours talking and talking and talking...and talking and we became a habit. We became a fixture I look forward to every time I wake up.
However, every ride has its end. You and I had places to go. We each have responsibilities. When the train stopped at my station, you took my baggage away and told me to go and forget you. You made me promise to erase you because you were once one of those boys that left the unwanted souvenirs upon my door. You told me that the universe wasn't ready. You told me that our timing was off.
But I can't forget you. When everyday does not preoccupy my time, I think of you and the things I wish I expressed. What if, by continuing to pretend that nothing happened, we are on the wrong road again? What if the timing was, in fact, right? What if my final destination is really you? I don't want to live in the what-ifs anymore. Please, if you are still even just a fraction of the man I know, come to your train station. I'm here. Meet me for the third time.
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