I use the word "tired" too many times in this post.

Because I have no one to turn to and so many people are relying on me to function tonight so I might as well get this off my chest. And I'm so sorry because it's you again but please don't think that you are just a shock absorber.

I'm very tired and I know everyone is tired and I have no right to complain. I know that I should be self-sufficient and that's why I'm not really expressing what I'm feeling to anyone. I'd really hate to break down tonight so I might just as well think of other people who are having harder times than me. But the point is that I just really wanna say that I'm tired, I feel used, and I'm not a pillar. I don't know why people trust me to do so much stuff and I don't know why I say yes all the time. Maybe it's because I just can't say no or I'm afraid of them not liking me or I'm just trying to forget something or I would really just like to do so much things at once. Idk and honestly, I'm tired of thinking about the reasons why.

I just want a hug or a hi or a simple nod. I'm very tired and I think I need to rest.