Why I Am Fighting

Dear Mom and Dad,

Recently, I discovered that the things I am proudest are the ones I fought for. These are the ones that I ceaselessly needled you to give me, or creatively coerced you into giving me the permission to have them. For one, I am very grateful for Ateneo. I know you weren't keen on sending me to this university because you were insisting I go to the one located in Diliman. I am thankful for bending your will to mine because I am ecstatic to find myself standing on this hill - this place I now call home. I am so glad I fought for my dream school because I feel that I am inching towards self-discovery, my self-actualization. I found my vocation here, Mama and Papa.

This is actually why I am writing this down. I want to pursue further studies and teach. This is my passion; this is the one thing I will choose over and over again. I know I went through the stage of wanting different careers but I realized I was wrongly searching and aiming for temporary things. It took me a long way, unlike Ate, but this is what I want to do in life. After the whole doctor fiasco two years ago, I asked God to let His will be done. True enough, I did not get what I wanted that year: JTA. Instead, I found myself applying for a position in Musmos.

Let's get side-tracked a little bit. I will *finally* tell you why I fought for Musmos. Remember when Botchok and Liit spend their summer here three years ago? During their stay, I felt so disconnected and disaffected from them. It's as if they were not my blood relatives. I treated them less than they deserved. And so, when I encountered the so-called "org tradition" in Ateneo, I promised myself and God that I will join a kid-oriented organization. I really wanted to understand my cousins more and relate to them rightly the next time I have a chance. My love-affair with Musmos then began.

Anyway, back to the program. After accepting that I won't be spending my junior year in Singapore or Macau, I asked Him to show me the reasons why I stayed here. As such, a series of events happened:

1. My western history teacher told me that I should get a minor in history. I laughed.
2. My creative writing minor application was halted, first day of junior year. I cried.
3. Danielle told me I have a knack for teaching, and that kids are strangely drawn to me. ACIL then nicknamed me, "child whisperer"
4. Musmos people seconded number 3.
5. ASLA came and strengthened my burgeoning passion for fighting poverty through values formation and network-enabling.
6. Musmos Week, the week-long event I headed, got featured on Ateneo website.
7. I was elected as the Kids' Formation Head (a.k.a. Lesson Plan Maker) this year.
8. ACIL awarded me "Best Catechist" for my area.

I can enumerate other events and memories here but this letter will be too long. I still have a lot to say, haha. With everything that had transpired, how could I ignore the grace, passion and calling He has given me? It's as if everything I went through, down to the bullying I experienced, led me here. Mama and Papa, I can't express how lucky I feel to have discovered this road less-travelled because I know a lot of people who are lost, trying to find their way through the broken bridges and cracked pavements.

I know I sound idealistic and naive. Maybe I am, but I will never let this go. You wanted me to read the late Sec. Robredo's letter to Ate Aika just to let me think this through. And let me tell you, every night I am discerning if I am making sound decisions. I sleep with my logic and emotions saying a resounding yes. Don't worry, I am still figuring things out. I may know what I want my life to turn out but hehe, there are still so many things to learn and realize.

This is why, I am begging you with all my heart, support me. Let me go. Let me love and let me get hurt. Let me make mistakes, and let me learn from them. I can picture the repercussions of my actions, and I am more than willing to face them. My life is not for just me anymore. My life is for and with others. In teaching and helping the youth learn, I find myself complete (well, wala pa kong love life but that is another story). Nararamdaman ko sa pagtuturo na ako ay hindi lamang tao - ako ay mas nagiging tao dahil ako ay nagpapakatao.

This is a lot to think about. I'll stop here. If you have any more questions, nasa kwarto lang ako most likely nag-aaral. Haha. I'll understand if you want time and space to adjust.

I love you, Mama and Papa. Thank you for everything. Please take a risk in me.

All my love,
Chelsea