I shall be my late for my Spanish Class

...for this.

I won't attend my meetings today either (because my Spanish class conflicts with their scheds). For once, I want a break. I need a break.  Even if it's just for five minutes. Or four. I just want to breathe and feel the air pass through my lungs.

How many break downs must I endure to go through this year?

These days seem the calm before the storm. I am so scared that something might happen again, and it will leave me shattered into bits. So, I am wishing and hoping that some miracle may intervene with my unwanted routine. I don't want to fall apart again. I reached my quota of tears last week.

I can't tell anyone all of my problems either. I am so afraid of sharing what is really on my mind, for fear that they might stay away from me, or suffocate me with their "care".

I don't need "Kaya mo yan!" or "You can get through everything". I have enough of those.

Is it bad to suddenly wish for someone who can hold me and be strong for me when I am weary of being myself?

I wish this neutral vibe will last even for a week.